Friday, November 6, 2009

Last Thoughts

A very busy last week in Visalia.
Lots and lots of working and in between lots of seeing family...
lunch with Grandma Falkenberg... lunch with Grandma Saucedo
And such a great surprise to be here for my cousin Melissa's daughter's birthday...
so I got to go to her 3rd birthday party and see all my Mexican family.

Yes, the older guy in the back ground is my cousin... my cousin Tony holding his son Nicky, then sitting is my badass cousin James who hella likes the smiths, depeche mode, and seinfeld, then my Aunt Mary in the foreground.

The Birthday Girl Seriah
Don't let those cute looks fool you... get on her bad side and she is a meanie... haha

My nephew Nicky and niece/birthday girl Seriah...
she cannot stop dancing

My nephews Noah and Kye
Noah was so proud its his little sister's birthday

Grandma Saucedo and Kye

Seriah LOVES her Grandpa Mike...
my Uncle Mike is such an awesome guy

Yummy Hello Kitty birthday cake

You can tell Noah is really really paying attention to what Grandma is saying

My beautiful cousin Melissa and proud Mama of the birthday girl

Very excited over her presents...
I am very happy she enjoyed the stuffed animal kitties I got her. She screamed with excitement when she opened them.

Every present she opened she had to bring to my Uncle Mike... he was covered in toys by the end.

I was so glad to see all my family, especially my dad's side since I only really see them all on Christmas and that is it. It reminded me of when I was a kid and my mom put on big birthday parties with ALL our family.
It is kind of sad my mom, Aunt Jeanie, and unfortunately now Uncle Willie are no longer around to celebrate with us all these important moments, but such is life and again unfortunately I have been desensitized to people passing.

Speaking of that... today I said my goodbyes and that included going to the cemetery.
Enough said.

Tonight I went out to eat with my mom's side of the family and had a great time despite the arguing... haha. We all had some sort of drink with alcohol in it... so we all had a good time.
After dinner dad and I played a life version of tetris trying to fit all my shit in his and my car.
Originally I thought I didn't have that much but turns out I had even more... jeeze I never have easy moving... haha

Now my room is clean and my shit is packed. I can relax finally after a very very long week of packing, work, and family.
I honestly, now looking back on my time here, am really going to miss it... and not just miss the superficial stuff like not having to pay for rent, food, or any of that. I'm gonna miss my dad and I honestly feel horrible for leaving him. This wasn't how life for him after Raymond and I moved out was suppose to be. Him and mom were suppose to enjoy their alone time and do lots of traveling. Unfortunately and obviously, these plans did and will not ever happen. He doesn't deserve living alone like this. We may rarely agree a lots of things but he still is a great dad and I feel bad leaving him alone...
very torn.
He even got very attached to my cats and admitted that them leaving might be even harder than me leaving... I've left before but never had he gotten so attached to the kitties. When I am gone or working he would let them run around and play with them. They loved him too, never letting him be. I've come home from work many times to see the kitties asleep on his bed.
I think for Christmas I may get my dad a kitty
Sadly Simba won't be around for much longer so he needs a companion.
Poor Simba... I did spend a lot of time with in today and that is good... every time I leave Visalia I am afraid it will be the last time I see him, but his spirits are still high and he still gets happy about things.

So, that is it... I'm done with being here.
It leaves an odd empty feeling in my stomach but to continue with my life I need to leave.
Despite having no friends here and just working working working I will miss this very comfortable life. I forgot about all my San Jose worries which are so very different and much more difficult than my Visalia worries.
Even though this may seen out of the blue I will miss everything here...
My entire last 3 months I have wanted to get out, but now I am not sure I want to leave.
This time tomorrow night though when I am watching my Sharks beat the shit out of the bitch Sidney Crosby I will remember why I belong away from Visalia...
but once reality hits I will miss the place I was raised.

No regrets.
Here I come bay area... whether I am ready or not